Thanato-Musicology: Part 2

The best recipes begin with “fry one pound of bacon; reserve grease.” The best songs end with
meaningful characters dying

Carolina Rain vs. Carolina Drama

I’m a huge fan of Southern Gothic in all its iterations. This is not surprising, considering Dorothy
Allison’s Bastard Out of Carolina is almost required reading in any social work program worth its salt.

I won’t get into the reported beef Ryan Adams had, or has, or whatever, with Jack White. It’s been
covered before. I’m more interested in the these two, independently created songs, separated by time
and space. Adams’ Carolina Rain appeared in his 2005 solo album, 29, while Carolina Drama shows
up on the tail end of The Raconteurs’ 2008 album Consolers of the Lonely. Both feature drunkenness,
infidelity, and references to clergy or sacramentals. And yes, of course, people die. To be blunt: shit be
goin’ down in Carolina

Carolina Rain

Rose lived on the south side of town

Until her landlord showed up with two hundred dollar bills

A notice of eviction on the other hand

Now she don't live there no more

And everyone thinks he drowned

I pulled into Mecklenburg on them trains

Into a station that got flooded when they opened up the dam

And broke their connections to the railway lines

So they could blast into the quarry

And for every load of granite

We got a ton of worry

One night at the diner over eggs

Over easy she showed me the length of her legs

But that gold plated cross on her neck, it was real

And you don't get that kind of money from pushing meal

I should've told him that you were the one for me

But I lied, but I lied

To most any drifter who’s looking for work is too weird

I met your sister and I married her in July

But if only to be closer to you, Caroline

Percy and I moved down the street

Until we lost two pretty girls

One was seven and one was three

Alderman and Caroline owned the house right up the hill

Where we laid those babies down

So they could still see our house

Suspicion got the best of old Alderman Haint

He owned an auto parts store off the interstate

But the lord took him home in July

And then Rose spilled the beans on the day that he died

We was in trouble

I should've told him that you were the one for me

But I lied, but I lied

Tied up to concrete at the bottom of the quarry

With a tattoo on his heart that spelled out "Caroline"

He was silent but his rosary

Well, it drifted into the custody

Of a sheriff that was just deputized

And I was down at the banquet hall

When two guys came up, pretty angry and drunk

And I'm still here at the banquet hall

At the banquet hall

Where the gun went off in the Carolina rain

In the Carolina rain

In the Carolina rain

Oh, Caroline

Carolina Drama

I'm not sure if there's a point to this story

But I'm going to tell it again

So many other people try to tell the tale

Not one of them knows the end

It was a junk-house in South Carolina

Held a boy the age of ten

Along with his older brother Billy

And a mother and her boyfriend

Who was a triple loser with some blue tattoos

That were given to him when he was young

And a drunk temper that was easy to lose

And thank god he didn't own a gun

Well, Billy woke up in the back of his truck

Took a minute to open his eyes

He took a peep into the back of the house

And found himself a big surprise

He didn't see his brother but there was his mother

With her red-headed head in her hands

While the boyfriend had his gloves wrapped around an old priest

Trying to choke the man

Ah Ah Ah

Billy looked up from the window to the truck

Threw up, and had to struggle to stand

He saw that red-necked bastard with a hammer

Turn the priest into a shell of a man

That priest was putting up the fight of his life

But he was old and he was bound to lose

The boyfriend hit as hard as he could

And knocked the priest right down to his shoes

Well, now Billy knew but never actually met

The preacher lying there in the room

He heard himself say, "That must be my daddy"

Then he knew what he was gonna do

Billy got up enough courage, took it up

And grabbed the first blunt thing he could find

It was a cold, glass bottle of milk

That got delivered every morning at nine

Ah Ah Ah

Billy broke in and saw the blood on the floor, and

He turned around and put the lock on the door

He looked dead into the boyfriend's eye

His mother was a ghost, too upset to cry, then

He took a step toward the man on the ground

From his mouth trickled out a little audible sound

He heard the boyfriend shout, "Get out!"

And Billy said, "Not till I know what this is all about"

"Well, this preacher here was attacking your mama"

But Billy knew just who was starting the drama

So Billy took dead aim at his face

And smashed the bottle on the man who left his dad in disgrace, and

The white milk dripped down with the blood, and the

Boyfriend fell down dead for good

Right next to the preacher who was gasping for air

And Billy shouted, "Daddy, why'd you have to come back here?"

His mama reached behind the sugar and honey, and

Pulled out an envelope filled with money

"Your daddy gave us this, " she collapsed in tears

"He's been paying all the bills for years"

"Mama, let's put this body underneath the trees

And put Daddy in the truck and head to Tennessee"

Just then, his little brother came in

Holding the milk man's hat and a bottle of gin singing

La la la la, la la la la, yeah

La la la la, la la la la, yeah

La la la la, la la la la, yeah

La la la, la la la

La la la la, la la la la, yeah

La la la la, la la la la, yeah

La la la la, la la la la, yeah

La la la, la la la

La la la la, la la la la, yeah

La la la la, la la la la, yeah

La la la la, la la la la, yeah

La la la la, la la la la, yeah

Well now you heard another side to the story

But you wanna know how it ends?

If you must know, the truth about the tale

Go and ask the milkman